February 12th - Bilal and The Foreign Exchange @ Centerstage Theater

Last month, when I discovered Bilal and The Foreign Exchange were going to be performing in Atlanta over Valentine's Day weekend, I reminded my man an average of once a day that we should definitely be AT THAT. The Foreign Exchange is a Neo Soul music group born out of the genius of the Okayplayer online community. Two artists, Phonte of North Carolina and Nicolay of Holland exchanged music and lyrics with each other over the course of a year. Through this foreign exchange, they put together their debut album before even meeting in person. Now that's the power of the internet at work because their music is BOMB!!!! They have a second album out now and their song Daykeeper is up for a Grammy. Naturally, Sweet Love and I were extremely geeked about going. We liked Bilal and all but we really wanted to see The Foreign Exchange.

Thus we went about the business of securing tickets, getting haircuts and choosing attire all to be met with snow. It motherfu*&%n snowed for four hours the day of the concert! When it snows in Georgia, it might as well be the end of the world. Ain't nobody out on the streets. Ain't no more milk or bread at the store. Everybody locks themselves away in their houses and prays for the speedy emergence of a relentlessly hot sun. Sweet Love and I decided that the elements would not prevent us from venturing into the city to see our beloved TFE. We layered ourselves with thermals, sweaters and coats, wiped the snow off of the car and carefully crept our way through the streets to downtown Atlanta. We parked about a block away from Centerstage Theater and clutched each other as we tipped down the icy sidewalk. Smiling ear to ear at our own bravery and resolve, we were met at the doors by signs proclaiming "Due to weather TFE will not be performing." BULL. SHIT. After buying a couple of B-52's and finding seats, we decided to stick around for Bilal. Afterall, we did own two of his CDs.

We were in good company with a nice crowd of 30-somethings as local neo-soul artist Anthony David took the stage and gave us quite a nice performance. He had excellent stage presence and a really sweet singing and rapping voice. He performed a nice little duet with a young lady named Algebra (oh Black people and their names) and tickled us as he did a cover of a Lil Wayne song with his own lyrical twist. See below.

Following Anthony David, an unnamed comedian took to the stage. He chose to spend about a good fifteen minutes discussing the merits of giving and receiving oral sex. Of course, he focused more so on the receiving and than the giving. It was funny because most of what he said rang true. What was even funnier was the crowd's reaction to the subject matter. It is truly amazing just how conservative we colored folk are when it comes to the discussion of sex. Black women simply do not admit to the activities in which they participate behind closed doors and in the presence of their women, Black men will completely shut up as well. The laughter was stifled at some points and almost everyone refused to raise their hands when the comedians posed certain questions. I personally feel that I'm too old to be embarassed about nature and since I didn't know anyone there I laughed my ass off. Blame it on the B-52 (yeah right).

Next, Bilal's band took the stage playing their respective instruments. Bilal, himself, came swaggering, all slew-footed, out onto the stage wearing dark glasses, wailing into his mic. Sweet Love and I immediately gathered that he was drunk and/or high. I guess every neo-soul artist is getting into the habit of cutting their hair because his signature dreadlocs had been replaced with a gumby-esque haircut. Okay. We sat back and listened to him singing For You and Something to Hold On. He's got this crazy falsetto thing that he does and you can tell that Prince is one of us his major influences. We liked. He was jammin.' Especially when he pleased the crowd with Sometimes and White Turns to Grey.

Bilal's antics on stage were just hilarious. At one point he said "Hole up, we ain't done no sound check so our shit is all fucked up." At another point he said, "What's up Detroit! Well that's where it feels like I am with all this snow and shit." He forgot the lyrics to Sometimes and kept stopping and restarting the song and he looked like he was going to fall right into the crowd when he decided to stand on one of the speakers. But when he covered Thelonious Monk's Round Midnight, we had a new respect for him. Dude is a true artist who loves the music. We were very glad that we'd given his live performance a chance. We were still bitter about The Foreign Exchange though.

Bilal ended the show with Soul Sista and then we left. It took us nearly two hours to get home due to the road conditions. Idiots were driving way to quickly on the icy freeways and were slipping and sliding all over the damn streets. When going up hills, some cars were sliding in reverse. It was frozen hell. We decided that we wouldn't venture out in Georgia snow ever again...unless The Foreign Exchange comes back.

February 14th - Georgia Aquarium

My Sweet Hot Baby and I consider Valentine's Day to be a commercial farce annually forced upon us by conspiratorial chocolatiers, florists and greeting card makers. However, because of our heady passion for each other and recent reunion, we tend to celebrate more feverishly than most. Thus we observed the weekend with two bouquets of flowers, a Bilal and The Foreign Exchange concert, Halo 3: ODST, a couple's dinner party at our place featuring Monopoly City and a surprise visit to the Georgia Aquarium. We seem to really, really like each other.

I had no idea Georgia even had an aquarium, let alone the world's largest. Apparently, people come from all over the world to catch a glimpse of the universe hidden in the depths of this globe's oceans. After being blindfolded, I was driven to Centennial Olympic Park and then carefully lead to the aquarium's entrance. Upon the reveal I couldn't help but exclaim with clapped hands and giggles. I hadn't been to any world class aquarium since I was about 16 years old. The place was teeming with throngs of visitors of all ages. Of course, it was mostly families and that warmed my heart. I'm sure that one day we'll probably be dragging our wide-eyed brood through those same corridors.

The campus is split into six main attractions; Coldwater Quest, River Scout, Georgia Explorer, Ocean Voyager, Tropical Diver and Deepo's Undersea 3D Wondershow. "Deepo" looks suspiciously a lot like "Nemo." I'm not sure which funny-looking fish came first. We visited Tropical Diver first which further increased my desire to snorkel near some Caribbean reef. The aquatic creatures are all so colorful and seem to radiate as they move through the water. There were these little creatures called garden eels peeking out of the bottom of one of the aquariums. They looked like multicolored reeds of grass blowing in a meadow. Then of course there were the jellyfish, (OMG, if this cat doesn't stop bothering me while I type this!)cuttlefish, seahorses, anemones and turkeyfish. Beautiful.

We then went to touch pool in the Georgia Explorer exhibit where they were feeding eels. The eels actually reminded me of our dog Genesis as they swam up to the attendants and took food from their hands. They flapped their wings with glee. It was kind of cute. Just imagine having a pet eel! When they weren't surrounding the attendants, they were flying through the water and passing the sharks like kites. Amazingly, the miniature sharks seemed to like being petted by visitors. Pet sharks. So cool.

After being photographed with one of the mascots, we went to the Ocean Voyager and that's when my mouth just dropped. This exhibit is HUGE. I guess it had to be in order to accommodate the three shark whales and all of the other ridiculously large creatures. By the way, we learned that two of the shark whales were transported from Taiwan by UPS. Can you imagine getting a delivery like that? During moments like these, I can't help but think what an awesome world we inhabit. There are these creatures all around us of all sizes with their own habits that enhance the environment in their own special way. It reminds us to take care of what we have so that our children can show their children. Anyhow, I'll let the video speak for itself.

We were about to go to the 3D show but we suddenly had an urge to eat sushi. However, we felt kind of guilty at the idea of eating the cousin of something that we had recently spent so much time admiring. We ended up having a turkey dog instead. Seeing the life living underwater was such a study in harmony. All of those different creatures, whether in schools, in lifelong pairs or alone, went about their business of living in sync with all of the other beings. They weren't declaring ownership of the tanks or reefs. They weren't building technology to take each other out. Sure, some are eaten by others but such is the food chain. Nevertheless, there is an abiding peace and tranquility beneath the sea. I made a mental note to behave more like the fish and go with the flow of things. All in all, it was the best Valentine's Day I've ever had.

January 11th - The Art of Dinner Partying

Undoubtedly this is a departure from my normal shtick...but come to think of it, this is probably what I, we, all of us over 30 should be doing around this rosy-colored middle age. In lieu of dragging ourselves around sticky dance floors under the influence of fruit-flavored spirits, we begin to go to the homes of others. Why?

Well, the people we've come to know are beginning to live in spaces worth visiting. They now have crap to sit on instead of those clear inflatable couches from college. The didn't spend the electricity money on beer, so there is heating or air-conditioning. After years of weed-smoking, they've learned the value of having munchable quantities on hand instead of having to scrounge up 2.99 from the floor of the car to make it to Burger King for a fish sandwich that may or may not make them cry. They may have even given up the weed-smoking habits because the job which affords them the house and furniture and food frowns upon that sort of activity. Additionally, they may have pets and/or children who prevent them from gallivanting about town until the clock strikes nothing. However, they still miss the joys of socializing and need desperately to talk to someone else besides their significant other, their toddling child or their overweight cat. Thus, they make the leap of hosting their own personal low-key extravaganza.

These people invite me and my significant other because we're an attractive couple on the road to nuptials who don't mind expressing affection in a manner that is appropriate to the given environment. We make interesting and relevant small talk, tell pleasant jokes, remove our shoes when we enter and know the proper time to make an exit. Finally, we are law-abiding citizens who aren't likely to be casing the joint for our newly escaped convict of a cousin. In other words, we are the quintessential housewarmers for which housewarming gatherings were intended. Since moving to Atlanta, we have been invited to more than our fair share of these events and I felt it would be prudent to share some valuable tips on both hosting and attending as if I'm some sort of expert. Plus my mom would really like this since she pretty much taught me all of this junk. Here goes...

For the host:

1. Always be sure to give your guests ample time to plan to attend. This way they can schedule your shindig accordingly and if needed you can change dates to be more accommodating. Plus, it builds enthusiasm. You'll hear things like "I'm really looking forward to our get-together" or "Shall, I bring my Scrabble set?"

2. Be sure to have or create an eclectic mix-tape of music with both popular and rarely heard (yet tasteful) selections. This serves two purposes. First it sets the tone for the evening depending on the tempo of the music. Second, if there are any uncomfortable silences it provides a fall-back topic of conversation such as " I love this song, it reminds me of.." or "Who is this song by? What's good to listen to these days?"

3. When guests arrive, let them know where the bathroom is immediately. This way you give them the opportunity to wash their filthy hands before touching all of your stuff. Make sure the bathroom is stocked with everything they will need to do their business IE. soap, paper towels, toilet paper, wet wipes, air freshener. It would also be a good idea to stow any pharmaceuticals, porn mags or anything you don't want your guests happening upon in a bathroom they are not likely to use.

4. If dinner is not prepared upon arrival, do make sure to present your guests with suitable snack and/or appetizing options. We all know that people make it a point to come to free food events as hungry as humanly possible. Don't allow them to sit there starving or they will talk about your ass after the fact. On the flip side, some people will have eaten beforehand because they don't trust your (or anyone else's) cooking. The provision of these snacks gives them an excuse to decline large portions when it comes time to sit down for dinner...(and it deters piggies if you especially liked whatever you made and you desire leftovers). Yo, this is real.

5. Prepare only those meal items that you have cooked at least once before. A dinner party is never the occasion to try out a new recipe. If it sucks, that's all your guest will remember and again, they will talk about you. If a dish goes awry make sure that it is something that can either be quickly replaced or something that the party can do without. Anyhow, know the food you're making. Know how it tastes. Present it in such a way where people will want to eat it. It's called a serving dish.

6. Prepare activities like games but don't force these activities upon your guests. If the evening is progressing nicely then just let it flow as it will. If not then, then you have the backup of the games to bring about the fun times you are so fervently seeking. Try not to kick your guests' asses in games with which they are unfamiliar. I can't say this enough... they will talk about you after the fact.

For the guest:

1. Never, never, never go to a person's house empty-handed. There are so many reasons for this that I could write an entirely separate blog on this alone. A few are as follows:

a. It's just plain good taste to bring offerings and builds your personal brand.

b. If they don't have a single thing you like then you can always eat or drink what you brought because you know you like it.

c. In case the host forgot something like beer or wine, you've got it covered, thus keeping them from having to go rush out to the store to save face.

2. Wear clean socks because you never know if the host requires guests to remove shoes. In fact, just take it for granted that you're going to have to take off your shoes when you go to someone's house. Ladies, have your feet done if going sockless. Men, no holes in the socks.

3. Be sure to find at least one thing to compliment. It could be the decor, the music, the food, or whatever but compliment it. There's no telling what the host put his or herself through both mentally and physically to prepare the event. This event could be saving their marriage, their sex life, their personal sense of worth.... You just never know. Acknowledge their costs, their work and their hospitality by appreciating it.

4. Do not go anywhere in the house that you have not been invited. It's not Disneyland. It's their house. If you discover something horrible and/or shocking then it may be quite hard for either you or the host to live it down. Plus, it's just poor taste to be snoopy.

5. If you brought anything pre-packaged like beer, wine, or potato chips, leave any unused portion at their house unless they tell you specifically to take it. If you cooked something and have leftovers, offer to leave them a portion but be sure to take your cookware. Also, gather any accessories like gloves, hats, scarves etc. There is no telling when you'll see that stuff again if you don't take it with you. (It took me four hours to make those hobo gloves, TC.)

Hope that helps! May you enjoy your next dinner party experience profusely.