FLASHBACK - OPM @ Ceasars Palace

I'm not a parent but I might as well be, considering the antics of my cats. Berenstein, perhaps under the influence of Spring, decided to try to mount his sister, Buttercup. Buttercup wasn't having it; thus she put the smack down on Berenstein to the tune of $250 in vet fees. In order to make sure Berenstein didn't try to remove his e-collar (again) and scratch out his stitches, I've been playing nurse...at home... devoid of nightlife, complimentary cocktails...or encounters with crazy tourists. Alas, I do have my memories.....

While in the midst of a rather nasty breakup, I decided that the "mack" in me was due to make a return. I called up an old friend from the Bay Area (let's call her "Candy" ) to go check out OPM at Caesars Palace. World-renowned Kid Capri would be handling the wheels of steel so I knew there was going to be a good mix of music. (OPM no longer exists. It is now Poetry Night Club.) I went and picked up Candy, put a fast-forward on her wardrobe selection and whisked her away to Caesars. I was eager to let off some steam on the dance floor plus I refused to pay cover or miss out on the free champagne until midnight. We must have gotten there right around 10:30pm.

Champagne in hand, I recall scanning the crowd. I knew that half of the ladies had gained entry on the strength of borrowed IDs. Ghastly. I was pretty disgusted for a half hour because Kid Capri had not yet begun to spin and everyone who had gotten there early enough to get a seat was sitting there with that "I have a seat and you don't" look on there faces. OPM was one of those clubs that was designed to look packed no matter how many people were there. There could have been 150 or 1050 people there and it would still feel like the cozy confines of a sardine can. Meanwhile, Candy was convincing some dude to score us some shots. I knew she'd come in handy.

The night progressed and Kid Capri made his entry. (It's amazing how we're all aging, isn't it?) The dance floor was ridiculously packed thus prohibiting any movement that could remotely be considered dancing. I just stood there for a while looking around at the people. I noticed a guy walking by with a cigar hanging out of his mouth. I asked him what kind of stick it was. He gives me this totally smug half-grin and proudly announces, "It's Cuban, Baby." I asked him to let me take a look at it. Being a cigar snob of sorts, I have the ability to smell the savory decadence encased within an authentic Cuban tobacco leaf. That was no Cuban. The cigar band didn't even have a brand on it. I handed his cigar back to him and advised him that he was mistaken. I then watched him approach his friends and ask them what kind of cigar it was. That's when I knew I had to get the hell out of there. I was in a room full of faulty "flossers" and "posers."

I ended up staying for about another two and a half hours.

I would gladly go see Kid Capri spin anywhere. He was playing all of the East Coast sounds I like even as he mixed in some Bay Area favorites. After throwing a few 'bows and slapping more than a few people in the face with my dreadlocks, I was able to clear a space for myself to get down. I worked up a good sweat and then found Candy talking to some guy who apparently had at least three STDs. I had to drag her all the way down the stairs and out of the casino by her forearm....and she was no skinny Minnie.

On the way, I had to listen to Candy talk about how many guys had hit on her and how she was afraid that someone from the Bay Area had seen her and would probably report it back to her seasonal lover. She then kept insisting that we stop and get something to eat. I refused. I guess I could've stopped after all but I just didn't want to. Besides, Candy had the situation under control. She pulled a half-eaten Arby's roast beef sandwich out of her purse and sated her appetite. I didn't even begin to comprehend what I was witnessing until the next morning. Yes, she had brought that sandwich to the club. Yes, she had danced around the club for at least three hours with that thing in her purse. Yes, she smacked as she ate it on the ride home.

Honestly, I think that's what made my night.

April 11th - Down and Derby @ The Beauty Bar

Last night's festivities definitely warranted a celebratory WOOOOOOOOO!!

In all honesty, I have always been and will always be a hippie from the Bay Area (Westside represent). I was incredibly saddened by the death of Vegoose. I support and am hopeful for the development of >First Friday. The hippies of Las Vegas need a place to congregaate since we don't have our own Telegraph Avenue. However, with the addition of Down and Derby Las Vegas, our culutural revolution continues.

Down and Derby is a monthy skate party at The Beauty Bar down on Fremont Street. Clad in funky get-ups inspired by the 70s, 80s, or just pure insanity, expressive folks aged 21 and over can imbibe in the bar upfront or rollerskate in the lot out back. If you think that the idea of combining alchohol and skating with adults who probably haven't donned a pair of rollerskates since their were gradeschool age sounds firghtfully dangerous then you are probably right. However, when you're grown and sexy...and a hippie...you pop a multi-vitamin, throw on a blond afro wig, do some squats amd high tail it over to that skate party like you have business.

I had such a fine time! Initially, I was pretty wobbly on those wheels but I took great comfort in knowing that I wasn't the only one. I'd made the incredibly wise decision to drink a soda instead of a martini and thus after a few circuits around the makeshift rink, I was able to comfortably relive the joys of dancing on wheels. The energy of the crowd was amazing and everyone was quite sympathetic of those who took a tumble. Falling as an adult really sucks because you have so much farther to drop. The party went on until 2am but I was done after three hours. I'm no skating spring chicken. To all my fellow skaters, enjoy the photos!

April 9th - Who's Got Jokes @ Luxor

I happen to be a proud subscriber to Vegas Evibe, the "colorful" electronic bulletin that keeps me in the know about interesting things happening around Las Vegas. An alert earlier this week hipped me to a free live taping of Who's Got Jokes going on at Luxor. Hmmm. Let's see. A chance to be entertained by Bill Bellamy for the grand fee of nada? Of course I was going! I rushed over to Luxor to make sure I got a seat since holding a ticket did not guarantee entrance. Gosh, I hate first come, first serve. Give me VIP any day.

Anyhow, I made it there with time to spare and received the honor of being one of the Who's Got Jokes 100. Who's Got Jokes is a comedy competition where comedians compete against each other in two 3 minute sets. Each contestant has to make it through their individual sets without using any potty language AND they have to be funny. If the three judges happen to give them a low score then each contestant has one chance to appeal to the Who's Got Jokes 100 to boost their score. The contestant with the highest combined score moves on to the next round of the competition. At the end of the season, the top contestant is named the overall victor. I have no idea if they win a contract or money or what.

Bill Bellamy hosted along with Rodney Perry and Tommy Ford. Tommy Ford always scared me. I was glad to be sitting in an area of the audience where I couldn't actually see him. There's just something not right about him as if he secretly drinks blood or eats children but that's neither here nor there. Last night's live taping had a parade of local and national celebrities. Since the theme of the show was paying homage to UNLV, Tark the Shark was sitting in the audience. The three judges were LisaRaye (and her incredibly stiff dog), Eric Snow and Kym Whitley. Also, George Wallace stopped by and told some surprisingly funny "yo' mama" jokes.

The four contestants were entertaining. One was very cute with his dimples and locs but he wasn't that funny. The second had the unfair advantage of having competed last season but did have great energy and delivery. I personally felt the third contestant was the funniest, partly because he just looked like a clown. The fourth was a lady. I don't think she came to win. After enjoying my usual martini with extra olives, I was tickled most by Bill Bellamy's impression of 50 cent and the frantic gyrations of one of the shadow dancers. She just kept flinging her hair as if it itched and doing this strange pee pee dance culminating in an uncomfortable disco stance. I was crying. Why don't they ever ask me to shadow dance?

Who's Got Jokes airs every Saturday at 10 p.m. (EST) on TV One. I'm not sure when this episode will air but I'm fairly confident that I made all kinds of obnoxious facial expressions during the taping.

April 8th - Yellowtail Sushi @ Bellagio

I walked into Bellagio and was immediately embraced by the frangance of flowers. Hmmmm! Spring has officially arrived in Las Vegas when the gardens at Bellagio are filled with beautiful, beautiful tulips. It's a honeybee's wet dream for sure. Alas, I was on a networking and sushi-tasting mission. I have been threatening to go to the Tuesday night networking event at Lavo for the longest but never got around to doing it. Now the program has changed to Wednesday nights, the first of which was last night at Yellowtail Sushi at Bellagio. That was fine with me. I've been in a business card exchanging kind of mood and I wanted to try the restaurant out to see if it would appeal to the sushi addict in my life (aka Sweets).

Yellowtail is a gorgeous bar , lounge and restaurant positioned with a view of the famous Bellagio fountatins. It has a ritzy vibe but manages to be comfortable and the sushi isn't ridiculously priced. Tonight's networking event offered free samples of some of the items on the menu. There was a shrimp tempura dipped in some sort of lemon flavored concoction and something that resembled a tuna pizza. I had a ridiculously small glass of plum wine but the staff was extremely pleasant and not too naked. It's definitely a place I would revisit.

While there, I made the acquaintance of Jan and Jim. They have been residents of Las Vegas for three years and were very impressed with the business climate. They made a habit of attending networking events and enjoyed taking day trips to the many hidden jewels throughout Southern Nevada and Death Valley. They mentioned the oasis at the China Ranch Date Farm and a little known biker bar in Mountain Springs. I liked them immediately which is probably why I ended up telling them my life story. Much like my fellow Phenomenal Women Las Vegas, they had really good energy and were genuinely eager to make a connection. However, what I enjoyed most was the fact that there was absolutely no mention made about the state of the economy.

Yes, we're in the thick of it and it's probably going to get worse before it gets better. However, we are the masters of our own fate. We can be victims and watch our worlds tumble around us...or we can remain strong, take action, seek out opportunities and keep on truckin.' Last week, I brought a friend to a networking event whose aunt was looking for a condo to purchase. At that the networking event, there just happened to be a number of realtors present and one of those realtors just happened to have a condo for $35,000. Coincidence? Well, I don't believe in coincidences. I do believe that there are answers for every questions and resolutions for every issue. They're usually found in other people and all one has to do is ask.

Frankly, I'm about ready to do something crazy or run into some nutty people or something. All this sanity and reason of late is wayyy to mature for this thirty-something.

March 31st - Panevino Ristorante

Let's face it. Everyone's major concern is the economy. Will my business survive? Will I keep my job? Will I be able to hold on to my property? Can I sustain my quality of life? Although, I swear on a Friday night in Las Vegas, one would never know that money was such a major concern. Maybe that's why I was out last Friday and I'll be out again this Friday. It's nice to not worry. It's nice to just live. It is also wise to seek the wisdom and company of others. Doing so over a couple of $5 Ketel One martinis is a great idea. Thus, I did just that this past Tuesday with my fellow Phenomenal Women Las Vegas.

So there we were, inside the stylish confines of Panevino's Ristorante, sitting around eating pizza and drinking martinis. A trio was covering Stevie Wonder and Bill Withers. The sun was making its final descent in the western sky. I believe the technical term for such simple pleasures is networking. Really, it's communing. It's sharing your life experiences, doubts, anecdotes, jokes, observations and energy with people who are trying to reach or perhaps have already arrived at goals similar to your own. Many may complain about Las Vegas being a transient community, a city full of strangers, but I've come to disagree. Never have I encountered so many opportunities to get tipsy with other people. Never have I encountered so many people eager to share their personal stories and business cards with each other. The truth is that the residents of Las Vegas are a very pleasant people representing the great melting pot of our nation and I wasn't slipped a twenty by any of the Phenoms to say that.

We discussed everything from experiences in New Orleans to the housing market to Michelle Obama's popularity to the antics of a man badly in need of lessons in chivalry to the key to making valuable connections at networking events. To all my business-minded people, here are a few tips....

1. Get out. Be seen. Shake hands. Have a glass in your hand. People see you at a few events in a month and suddenly they think they've known you for the past 20 years. It's amazing. You drink with someone once (even if it's only water or cranberry juice)and you'll be surprised how much they are willing to share with you. It's kind of sweet. Mortals are pretty lovely.

2. Go where the wealth is. Last Friday, I went to a National Society of Black Engineers party because those cats have money and were determined to have a good time come hell or high water. There are announcements for events in your local business publications that spell out exactly who's going to be there. You'd be surprised how many of these types of events are cheap and/or free.

3. Follow up. Follow up. Follow up. If you say you're going to email information to the folks you meet, then do it. If you suggest that you do lunch soon, do it. So many people flake or never follow up ever again. I don't think they're hungry enough. Be hungry. Do what you say you're going to do.

I'm off my soap box now. Shots out to the Phenoms and Panevino's.